What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Randomize
