new low.... made out with someone while peeing
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
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