I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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