Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Randomize
