jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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