The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize
