Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I will be naked everywhere
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
At least life still wants to fuck me.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
