my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I'm like, not good at living.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
