I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
She needs sedatives and a leash
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Randomize
