i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
