I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Randomize
