no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Randomize
