First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
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