am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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