the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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