I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
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