Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I will pee on everything he values.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Randomize
