Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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