It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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