hell yes lets make some ravioli
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Randomize
