I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
