And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
