We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
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