If i come over, it means nothing
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
