I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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