so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
