: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
We left an ass print on the piano.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Randomize
