Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
