I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
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