And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
