Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
