okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
