My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
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