Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
either way he was missing a nipple.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
