$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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