You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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