there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I need to stop coming to work sober
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
