Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
