This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
