Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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