with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
