He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
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