Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Send help, water and tortillas.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
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