Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
