Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
this will be a night to untag.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
