i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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