I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
that may or may not have been my penis.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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