Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
