The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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