Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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