At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Randomize
